Monday, February 11, 2008

What's Hot, What's Not

You know how some people take too big a sip of a slushie and then claim to have a brain freeze? Well, I’m having one of those (a brain freeze) right now and it has nothing to do with flavored high fructose corn syrup over finely grated ice. I know everyone’s sick to death of hearing me complain about the cold and go on and on with my winter superiority complex (my wind chill is lower than yours; my city has the higher snow accumulation total), but I just have to point out that when you can’t feel your upper thighs after brief contact with your toilet seat or you have to run hot water over your hands to unclench them after driving home, things have gone too far. I’m so glad I’m going to Iceland in March. It will be a welcome reprieve.

Meanwhile, I think my new Ugg house slippers might smell a little weird, like a pasture.

And now in my role as lifestyle curator, I’m about to tell you what’s hot for spring:

1. Navy nail polish. Now, everyone already knows about this trend, clearly, but I would like to report that I’ve test-driven the look and it’s brought me many merry times.
2. Meredith Viera. She’s getting close to that year-and-a-half mark on the Today Show and she’s just about to hit her stride and settle into conducting interviews without interrupting, I can feel it.
3. Daffodils. Last year Marc Jacobs came out with his ‘Daisy’ perfume, managing to make one of the most annoyingly sweet flowers in nature suddenly cool. This year I predict something similar will happen for the daffodil, which is a retro gem long neglected due to its early bloomer status.
4. Hair down to there. I’m only predicting this because I haven’t had one of my two-inch trims lately and my hair is almost long enough to loop around my neck multiple times in a scarf-like fashion.
5. Beer. I’m telling you it is about to replace Champagne as the black-tie beverage of choice. The other night I was at an event where they were serving endless Champagne as usual, and right out of the blue I craved, ordered and drank a beer. People will follow my lead, don’t worry. When I know, I know.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Inaccuracies Abound

One of the major difficulties I encountered while voting today was the fact that they were not handing out “I Voted Today!” stickers. Why don’t election officials in Illinois appreciate the pure fun involved with wearing a sticker? It’s like when Prius drivers wave at each other—I want to be able to recognize my fellow voters with some kind of salute or possibly a peace sign. As long as everyone’s going to be campaigning around all over the place, I just might start my own movement—to get a sticker in November.

In other news, there’s nothing better than reconnecting with an old song that truly beats to the tune of one’s heart. A few months ago I was dining with a group of most attractive people at Ping Pong, and one of Henry’s renowned music mixes began booming from the speakers overhead. When the song in question was played, I realized I knew every word—and so did everyone else at the table—but I couldn’t place the title or group. All I knew was that it reminded me vaguely of babysitting. Jeff was dispatched to the front desk to inquire as to the tune’s origin, and was informed we were hearing “Never Ever” by the 90s girl group All Saints. Well, what do you think I did? I went home and downloaded it on iTunes, and since then I’ve been singing along as if “Never Ever” were pre-programmed into my very soul.

So they say it’s going to snow five to fourteen inches in Chicago tonight. Honestly, this sounds like a fairly bogus forecast. Five to fourteen? I’m pretty sure I could make a more accurate prediction if I analyzed the Doppler myself. And as long as we’re discussing both music and snow, I would like to point out that if you listen to the lyrics of “Jingle Bells” closely, you’ll realize it’s not purely a holiday-oriented song. It is therefore permissible to listen to and sing along with Jingle Bells at almost any time a snowy situation occurs—like right now.