Thursday, July 10, 2008

All Signs Point to Something or Other


I can’t stop thinking about this one sign I see every day at the Lincoln Park Zoo. (Yes, I go to the zoo every day. I stretch by the seals and hold my breath past the stinky flamingos.) Anyway, the sign says, “Siberian tigers can thrive in many different climates and habitats.” It makes me think I need to take a good hard look at my life. Am I maximizing my ability to thrive? Why do I fare so badly in extreme climates? Why do I cling so stubbornly to my current habitat?

Other signs that have recently left me perturbed:

1. A billboard on I-65 South in northern Indiana: HELL IS REAL. You know, I’m just trying to get from one state to another.
2. I-65 North in northern Indiana: JESUS IS REAL. Once again, the side of the expressway is not your personal pulpit.
3. The newish Indiana license plates: IN GOD WE TRUST. Clearly, separation of church and state was not considered in the creation of these government-issued decals. “The Sunshine State” is a fine thing to write on a license plate. Land of Lincoln. First in Flight. Stars Fell on Alabama. Come on people, let’s keep it light.
4. At Foodstuffs in the Merchandise Mart: JULY IS NATIONAL HOTDOG MONTH. Duly noted.

P.S. I feel dizzy. Possible causes:
1. Someone slipped something in my bottled water.
2. I’m experiencing an inner ear situation.
3. My new Paul & Joe belt with the large gold circles is cutting off my circulation.

2 comments:

Kate Brennan said...

Thank you for keeping me delightfully busy for the past few minutes.

I'm concerned about this dizziness you mention. Is your spleen enlarged? Are you abnormally tired? Do you have swollen glands? Jokes!

kelli corney said...

i've seen that pesky HELL IS REAL billboard one two many times. i can describe the font from memory - large orange bubble letters that have been stretched vertically like someone typed them with powerpoint's "word art" function. Eww. Talk about hell.